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deepseas,

Ok, That post of yours was really besutiful. Thank you for your insight. You bring alot to the table and I really see things a little differently. I am happy that you have found ALL OF THE ABOVE for your life. At least I can say I know someone who has there shit straight.

BUT

Friendship, honesty and all that other stuff.....does not pay the mortgage or the phone, cable, light or gas bill.

So, if it is all the same to you, I am going to keep on looking for MONEY. & if times get ROUGH for the kid, I will PAY to have someone bring me breakfast in bed, and for the damn roses too!!! & if they get REALLY rough, I will just take a $100 bill, strap it to my dildo and rub it between my legs!!!!!!!!:lol:

Yes, I want companionship, but I also want my Mortgage paid. Damn all that love shit. If you can find it, I am happy for you. I have not found it, so I's gonna get PAID until I do.

One LOVE
from the OFFICIAL GOLD DIGGA of this site
Big T Hollywood

deepseas, having a woman is like having a job, the only thing worse then having one, is looking for one.

Murphdogg,
ain't that the truth, ruth.

hey women have the same problems. yall ain't no free flowing box of quality chocolates that you can't wait to bite into.

man there should be a series of 5 minute questions and *aptitude* tests to weed out the male freaks, gold diggers, abusers, duck when problems arise. and what happens, you end up with the first mothafuka you was with in the first place.

I mean it's hard to find a man to raise me and my 15 kids.

tis2flyyy,

well that's good you had a good time. and dang January is almost over. what yall doing for the 4th of July? I'm asking now because by the time I blink it'll be here again.

tamra,

Girl, On the 4th of July, I am going to be BBQ-ing turkey necks and crab backs! Wanna stop on over & have some? Bring Don Diva Mafia Kitty too, would LOVE to meet her!
My New YEAR was the BOMB - because I was ALIVE to see it! I really did NOTHING special, 'cept stay out of the way of any stray bullets. You know these foolz out here are crazy azz hell....give them a reason to SHOOT and they go nuts in LA!!!!! I wanted to clarify, just in case you thought I was out here straight KICKIN' it and all. Just the opposite, was in the bed, watching TV and resting.

Deepseas, Hi there! I have been back on the site since 1/3.....but still laying low! Thank you for asking about me - you are truly a dear person. I took a vacation at the end of the year. Had to get away for a little bit and chill out, yanno?

Deepseas, in my book, your shiznit is like 1,000% together!!!! I am so happy to know a person that has found their love and he acts right. I have nothing but mad respect for that. But I want to tell something. I am not a GOLD DIGA because I want to be, I am one, because I HAVE to be....check it

I USED to believe in supporting my man - you know, help the brotha out until he can stand on his own two. Help him be the MAN for me. I've scrimped, saved, supported, gave away all the free coochie in the world, then you know what? Homeboy straight tripped out on me - I would go into details but suffice it to say...it was some dirty low down shiznit and I was like hey - WHAT IS THE F-ING USE????, trying to support a fool to get nothing but F-ed up memories and a used coochie in return???? After doing that like THREE times, I was like F^&*^K that!!!!

So, instead of putting all that I have into some brotha, I put all that I have into me and my son. Now, the end result, I am a home owner, a business owner, and mother of a college student (& a Connoisseur of fine haberdashery - but that is off the topic right???). Yes, that sounds rosy, right? But I will admit, I have been LONELY as hell!!!!! Girrrrrl, doing it by yourself is NO piece of cake.

If I could turn back the hands of time, would I have done things differently....Yes and No. One thing for certain, I would have felt MUCH better if the brotha I had chosen to be with had supoored me in the same fashion that I supported his azz.

Why is it, that MEN never have their shit together and women are expected to always have theirs together?

I have not given up on men, I am just saying, if the Brotha has no money and he is not willing to share, then I be like NEXT!!!!!!! I do not even wait to see if he has a nice personality or what. Now, my Mom said that I was going to miss my man with that bullshit. That probably is true, but if I miss him, I will still have Ben Franklin and Ulysses S Grant to keep me company! Ya heard!

For real, I am not proud to be a gold digga. I envy women like yourself.

Big T

That's the way life has always been... Men had the control on everything.And no matter what they did it was their "animalistic nature" Used to tell us women how to be and shit... in the last 30 years we women had been drastically turning the tables on them all of the tables. And now all they got to say is I don't understand women and better not let them into power or we's in a world of shit..Man murders a woman..gets 15...woman murders a man and she'll typically get 20-life... only reason men are getting harsher penalties now is becuase the womens momma raise the necessary hell it takes. Poor Martha Stewart..Only thing she was guilty of was playin a mans game. Boys better start gettin their shit together..The worlds a changin...

I always say that guys need to think about what life they want their daughters to have because ultimatly they are the first man their daughter in ever infactuated with and I don't mean that in the nasty way... Treat your baby's mamma just how you want your baby to be treated. Cause she watchin.

Another interesting fact.. there's more women on the earth than men:p

oops damn..didn't log in.. that last post was me.

Momof5,
Girrrllll, you be preachin!

Tis2flyyy,

I'm happy for you and your son...you've accomplished much. I'm sure it hasn't been easy, but you did it! You must have your values in place, or I don't think you could have done this. I appreciate your kind words. Believe me, it was hard work and I earned every good day I have with this man. I know exactly where you're coming from.

Heads up...I've been played on by several, almost killed by my ex, supported one, kissed by a number of frogs and been left for a man! I've also been homeless and lived in my car for 6 months. After all that, I was disillusioned with men and struggled for YEARS raising 3 girls alone while working full time, going to school at night and getting extra money being a Navy Reservist -- all at the same time! I believe two wrongs don't make a right, so I figured I'd go it alone rather than take it out on an innocent man (or even a guilty one). Besides, I think it just keeps the chain of abuse, use and confusion going.

This meant driving a used car, shopping at garage sales, thrift shops and looking for all the freebie entertainment I could find for me and the girls. If there was a party, my girls went with me. If there was a concert or parade, we were there, if there was a free play at a local college, we were there. We did the beach, picnics, zoo, museums (cheap ones) and family and friend things for amusement. From the way I was raised and what I went through, I knew I wanted a better (quality) life for my girls, which I feel is having our basic needs met (food, clothing, shelter), education, fun, laughter and lots of love.

A MAJOR improvement in our lives was moving out of L.A. in '83. While I love L.A. and thought I loved the excitement, it's not a good place for finding (and keeping) true love and raising a family. It seemed to me that most everything is a "game" and somebody has to lose, I always had to watch my back (had my apartment cleaned out twice!), keep up with the Joneses to fit in, and distracted by the glitz, glamour and bullshit. It was always three steps forward, two steps back. Once I left, I was able to focus on my career, school, the girls and meet a whole different quality of men! Whenever I visit L.A. (for short visits) all the negatives about why I left come back to me. I could never return to that lifestyle.

[/i]If you put a bunch of crabs in boiling water, they're all pushing each other under trying to get out...thus, few if any get out.[/i]

Today, my girls are all educated, two have their own successful businesses, one is a great stay home mom, they all have their values in place, are married to wonderful men, and I am so glad I sacrificed for them. Life wasn't always rosy with them -- during their teens, they accused me of not giving them what they wanted -- to be like all the other kids with expensive clothes and cars and the freedom to go where they wanted when they wanted. But when they matured around 25, they all told me they were glad I didn't sell out because I did give them what they needed - values, self-esteem, motivation, inspiration, quality of life and love - things money cannot buy.

Through it all, I prayed -- and still do...every day.

I prayed for strength...I got it.

I prayed for health...I maintained it.

I prayed for income...I was able to to find it.

I prayed for true love...I have it.

I guess you could say I'm kind of like the stories of the http://www.first-school.ws/t/turtlehareen.htm - tortoise and the hare', and the three little pigs. Although the turtle was slow for the race, he stayed focused. Although the rabbit was fast, he got distracted. Eventually the turtle finished the race first because he stayed the course.

http://www-math.uni-paderborn.de/~odenb ... /pig2.html - With the pigs', the first two built their homes of straw and sticks, while the third built his of bricks. We all know what happened: a house built of strength and quality cannot be easily brought down. It takes faith, courage, persistence and pure hard work to do the right thing and not get discouraged.

It doesn't really matter to me what was done TO me...it only matters what my reaction to it is. I try not to take things personally and rise above the circumstances to correct the situation. In the end, I know that my small reactions and actions have a definite effect on the lives of all I touch and on the world.

It's said that each generation wants theirs faster, and that may be true. But the greatest person I know - my grandmother - showed me it is in the love and care we give to others is where our true happiness lies. When she died, she left me no money or "things." But she left me those things money simply cannot buy. When I think of who I love and admire most in this world, my grandma is the first that comes to mind...

Do what you have to do for the time being. But consider another way than gold digging for later because it cannot last forever...

As JTF says, "remember...you too can prevent forest fires," or words to that effect.

I luv your honesty, girlfriend!

deepseas,

Thanks Mrs. Lady. You are a true gem. One of a kind, original!

I hear you LOUD and CLEAR about LA. My MAN is definitely NOT here. I have only lived here for like 8 years and I came here to put a WHOLE lot of distance between me and THAT man I mentioned previously. Don't you know, I have seen the dregs of society out here...black, white, green, and yellow men...all BULLSHIT.

I am a professional (CPA), serve on several boards. I meet LOTS of eligible men. Good wage earners, things of the like.. ALL BULLSHIT. Went to the churches - WRONG move - some of the biggest HOEZ are up in the church - out here. Went to the mosque (I am a muslim) - ANOTHER WRONG MOVE - seems like a sigle BLACK woman is NOT the thing up in the mosque. Men can have THREE wives, but if a woman does not choose a hisband, thhan the hell with her, she does not count. If she does not have a man representing her, then she may as well be invisiable. That is the one thing I despise about my religion.

& the women here in LA (if you want to call them that)...got these men ALL MESSED up. Broads dressing all crazy, paying for men, letting them live in their homes for free, driving and wrecking their cars and shit. What the hell is going on?

Back in D.C. (I am from Maryland), the Women to Men ratios (when I left) was 12 to 1. A woman back their is PAYING for a man!!! I am like, HELL NAW!!!!!! The man that I had (punk azz bee-yotch, I was like sharing this fool with three other women. He was a muslim also, told me "It's all good". I was like, the hell with that. BUT, that is not what actually made me leave. It was all of the abusive shit that came along with it.

But LA, it is the new babylon - anything goes out this way. I am so glad, deepseas, that you made it out. Boy, am I glad. My business is here and it is highly unlikely that I will move, since I am set and well on my way to making my 1st million this year. My prayers are in for this. So you see, I really don't be getting money from MEN, peray, I makes my OWN money. BUT, if I deal with a brotha, his azz gots to be PAID, as I am. Forget all that broke azz brotha shit. I am not trying to raise NOBODY, but my own son.

But the GOOD neews is this...My son, he is OUT! He attends the the Univ of Maryland and as long as I live and breathe, I will not allow him to live in LA. He can live in Cali, but not LA...I do not want my good, sweet little man corrupted by these foolz! That is why I sent him back home! & he is on the same page with his Mom!!

Another reason I sent him back home is, as you know, I am a single Mom. My son is growing into manhood. I am a firm believer that I can not teach him how to be a MAN as I am a woman. So, I asked my father to help me. My son calls him Dad, anyway. My son's father is deceased since he was 6 mths old. My Dad is the only father he knows. I NEVER brought any of the foolz I dated over my son's head in our home. Except that one, and he left an impression on the both of us. My son is like, "Mom, there is no man good enough for you". I told him, this is true, but Momma needs companionship too! .

Since all of the hoopla and hovoc my young years has generated as far as relationships are concerned, I have like TOTALLY chilled on dating. My companion - if you want to call him that is 75 years old (& I am 35m so what is up with that???). He is a person in LA that I can count on and genuinely cares about me, my son and our well being. I don't 'pimp" him, he is a person I love and respect. I would not call him my "boyfriend" but we do talk everyday on the phone, go to dinner or lunch at least once per week and have breakfast after he attends church on Sunday's.

The friendship is fulfilling, to a certain degree. For one, I can not imagine myself getting intimate with him, his daughter is my homegirl...beside, I think he is impotent..sshhh, don't tell I said that! Like I said, It get's real lonely. And as pimped out as I am, shit I still be wanting my own man too!

So, thanks for sharing deepseas, through your struggles and your perserverance, you made a WONDERFUL life for yourself. You have three beautiful, wonderful children, a husband that adores you, enough finances to keep your head above the water. God has truly blessed you. From yoir postgts and sharing, I know that you are very thankful. Your receipe for success works!

So listen up ya'll. It is time for us to collectively PRAY. Pray for all of these good and positive things you want in your life. & for those who do not believe, PRAYER is powerful, it does change things. No matter what your beliefs are, submit to your higher power and pray.

That is the word for the day.

Deepseas, you are the BEST!

Much Love Darling,
Tania