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You know that my dream girl I was telling you guys about.


The night before she was comming out to visit me she was struck by a drunk driver she passed on impact.

She was only 22 years old come on. I wish I could get my hands around that drunk son of a bitch I swaer to god.

I can't sleep or eat I stop thinking about what I'd do to that guy if I got ahold of him.

Why couldn't it have been me intsed of her.

smjmcomic

I'm so sorry , I hope you get thru the pain I know you must be in ,

Please don't dwell on revenge , it's a poison that will only ruin the good in you , and that wouldn't do anybody any good ,

find something positive to focus on ,

we're here for you to lean on man ,

bcddjjsc690,


Thank you

I'm trying my best to keep it together but my best just isint good enough.


Her parents said the first thing they seen when they opneded up her suitcase was my picture.


Boy I wish it was me insted

Shawn,

My God... I am so sorry for your loss. I know you must feel like you have been turned inside out. It is a damn shame what can happen in this unfair world. A beautiful young woman dies, while the worthless drunk responsible for her death continues to breathe. Unthinkable...

As for you, you have a choice. You have people who give a damn about you. You can sit around crying this "It should have been me" shit, or you can deal with it. I had a friend once whose woman was killed when a drunk broadsided the car she was in. She was on her way to pick him up from work, as he is legally blind and she would frequently pick him up rather than let him take a few busses to get home. He blamed himself for her death, saying this same "It should have been me" shit. They had a son together. He let his grief consume him. His son was taken in by his sister while he picked up a pipe and a rock and smoked his life away. He was shot five times in the back in a crack house.

Cry for her. Live for her. If you were the one killed, how would you want her to live her life? Live your life. For you. For those who love you...

smjmcomic,

Damn bro, that's awful, I'm really sorry to hear that. I was actually wondering where you'd been for a while. Shit, that's terrible!

You need to go and chill with some friends/family to help you get over this.

Peace gee

smjmcomic,

There once was this woman I know, who was engaged to this great guy. Smart, cute, funny and talented. He use to sing to her every night on the phone...make up new songs and play the guitar. They lived a little distance from each other.

One day, the guy surprised her by traveling that distance just to spend a glorious Spring day together. It was fabulous...not a care in the world and only the two of them.

On his way back home his path crossed the path of a drunk driver. He was killed...

JTF,



Trust me Jon I'm trying to live but I can't stop thinking about her every breath I take hurts worse than the last.

I really need to sleep I have tryed everything sleeping pills don't even work I just lay in bed like a zombie I can't stop the tears I have never hurt like this before.

I don't know how much more I can take. Belive me I'm trying I don't want her upset over me (Where ever she is) I know she'd want me to be happy more than anything she was that kind of a person. She was a Gem.


She was an amazing person we would both would have had a great life together. We talked for days about how when she came down we were going to make up for lost time by just holding eachother and watching movies and cartoons.




The sensets we talked about enjoying together and the breakfast's in bed and the long walks

All gone

smjmcomic,

really sorry to hear that smj. prayers all around for both of you.

I've somewhat been in your shoes. my childhood friend since 7 was murdered by someone who entered his life just to commit fraud and murder, and got away with by planning out the murder carefully -- she played the OJ card, and claimed he was abusing her, but we all knew that story was fake, but homegirl had her game down.

for a long time I was angry and kept thinking if I ever get my hands on that bitch and the guy she hustled with, so help me.

but then I kept thinking about what my friend would do or wouldn't do. and then I kept thinking about all the fun times we had and how when I saw him again, I could be proud that I kept his memory in honor and didn't become a monster because of someone who was already a monster and w/out a soul.

to me my friend is still here and all their advice and love still matters, otherwise, their living was simply in vain and everything said to me just died w/them.

and if you just need to yell or choke us, JTF or Murph is here for you.

smjmcomic,

Hey baby, I sent you a PM earlier and you told me about this. I was really sad for you. So young, so senseless.

The first thing I did was say a prayer for her and her family.....and for you too.

Baby, I know that you are hurting. I know that you are feeling mighty bad. Nothing we can say in these posts is going to take away your hurt. We only will try to ease it some, ok?

But I want you to remember something. You are STILL here. Honor this dear sweet young lady by living your young life to the fullest. Celebrate her life everyday. Celebrate your own life everyday.

I know you want to massacre that dirty bastard azz drunk driver, please believe, they will get theirs. I hope they go to jail - for a very long time. If you want to put your energies into something, put your energy into getting his azz prosecuted.

When grief is overwhelming, it really helps to put your energies into doing something positive. There are support groups in your area that you can join. I know you may not feel like talking and sharing with a bunch of people you don't know, so take your time, but know that this is an option.

Also, I am right up the road from you. All you have to do is holla, and I will be there. & that is real deal holyfield.

Remember, We Love you SMJM, and we are always here for you, no matter what day or hour.

Stay strong, keep your heap up, My prayers are with you, always.

Before I sign off, I want to tell you this. I have a friend, Richard Marcus is his name. I speak of him as if he is still here, but he has gone on to his heavenly reward.

When I was in my late teens, early twenty's, trying to raise my young son and go to college at the same time, this man - I met him through some church friends. He is the uncle of a girl I took under my wing like a lil' sister. Well, Mr. Marcus, who was significantly older than I, inserted himself in my life like a second father figure. We just clicked liked that. Said he had respect for a young woman trying to do the right things. He knew I was broke and struggling. Sometimes, I would wonder how I was going to buy groceries and lo and behold, Richard Marcus would appear to take me grocery shopping. I would come home some days, and there would be a $50 bill under my door to buy paper towels, pampers, soap. Once, my car got repo'd, I thought it was stolen. He gave me his car to drive, so I could get to school, take my son to day care and helped me get my car back. He even helped me get my school books when my financial aid took too long one semester. He was all about helping a young black sister stand on her own two feet.

This man NEVER came at me wrong. He was like I said, a father figure. He came to both of my graduations (BA, & MBA), sent me cards of support. He NEVER forgot my or my son's birthday. God truly had placed an angel in my life when he sent Richard Marcus to me.

Later, I left the city and moved to LA. I always kept in touch and went back to visit. He contributed to the seed money to start my own business. I have mad love for him and his family. They were there for me when I was struggling and supported me and applauded my successes. I think, if it weren't for those people, I would have never made it thru college. I lived like 1 hour from home at the time, so these people were like my family in D.C.

Well, in April 2005, Richard passed away. He was 67 years old. He had pancreatic cancer. He survived for years with it. He was a very strong and godly person. The lord blessed him. I travelled back home to attend his funeral. I was so torn up at his funeral. I was like crying, could not be comforted. I kept saying "Why, oh why did you have to take him so soon? This beautiful, wonderful, nice man" They do no make people like Richard everyday. He is TOP NOTCH.

I was very, very sorrowful BUT I also was MAD. As the people at the church were like all happy and shit, talking good talk, like it was OK for him to be dead. Saying it is a "Homegoing Celebration". I was like, ain't shit to be happy about! A person I love dearly is dead, how the FUCK can you people act all happy?????

Then the minister stood up and he said something so profound to me, it changed me forever. At that moment, my heavy heart was immediately filled with warmth and joy. I did not stop hurting, I hurt 'till this day, but my burden was eased, considerably.

Smjm, I am going to share what he said to me, in hopes it eases your heart as well. He said:

"We are left here to mourn our loved ones. I know some of you have inconsolable grief right now. But know this, God did not take your loved one away because he wants you to hurt. Take joy in the fact that you had the opportunity to be a part of your loved one's life, for what amount of time you had. Hold on to your love and your memories. Because the earthly person is not here anymore does not mean your love and memories have to die also. Know one day, that you WILL see your loved one again. & remember, God also loves your loved one too. God just LOVES beautiful flowers and that's exactly what your loved one is. Sometimes, God plucks those special beautiful flowers for himself, while their in full bloom, so he can have them with him to enjoy their beauty, as well. Losing a loved one is painful, but it is not the end. Believe that. Your loved ones spirit will always dwell within you.

Peace & love
Big T

smjmcomic, sometimes there ain't a pretty way to get through something, you just have to get through it, this ain't fair, it's not just, and there is no sence to it..so don't try to find any, hope you got my pm my thoughts are with you homie.