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I have no relationship with my mother...She stole money from me and my sister Threw my sister out of the house when she was 15. Same went for me when I was 15, 12 years ago. I've had custody of my sis since she was 15..Haven't spoke to my mother in 3 years..Yet I find my self always lookin in the obits for her town to see if she's passed..I wonder if I will feel relieved when I see her name...

A Little melancholey today...

I welcome any jokes, lewd comments, hey ya can even diss me...Something..Make me smile...

Momof5,

it's not pathetic but is sad that the person who brought you into this world is the one you're least connected to.

been there, done that, brought home the t-shirt and getting ready to open a museum to walk people through the dysfunctional family process, and set up a greeting cards center for dysfunctional families "Happy Mother's Day - (on inside) Ok, who are we kidding?! It's more like 'Happy I Survived Your Ass Day'!" (you should check out my Xmas and Thanksgiving collection )

took me years, and years of destruction to realize what my parents did wasn't about me, but them. I shouldn't pay for their mistakes, as well as make others around me pay too.

do you know what it's like as a kid to not have a dream of what you wanted to be when "you grow up"? only dream was getting away from them, then life should begin. but not so easy. you still have to deal w/their asses. *damn*

I think for me as a kid reading saved me. I was reading at 3 1/2 and from there I'd read whatever I could find to escape. the house was all perfect, outside was all perfect, neighborhood full of people many respected and knew. but inside the house a living house of horrors.

and my mom's only response: that's in the past. yeah like it's that easy to forget it.

but I learned that she can't deal w/what happened because of something in her own past that's painful. I also learned that I shouldn't hope for a resolution w/her. life is too short and you waste so much time and energy on something that may never happen and you have absolutely no control over, but allowing to control you.

focus on things that can happen. like building a better relationship w/those around you. make sure those around you don't have to go through what you went through, or make anyone go through it. keep talking about it w/your sister. look for signs in your sister that prevent her from going down a destructive path to deal w/the pain of what happened.

and just keep praying for your mother. strangely I pray that she's well, but for my sanity and well-being, easier to pray from a distance. if she dies, still deciding if I would attend her funeral. or if I do will I just sit in back, or walk past the coffin and then leave? I'll cross that bridge when I get there, in the meantime, focusing on things I can change.

and if all else fails, smoke a joint, watch the few Richard Pryor comedy concerts or listen to a few CDs and by tomorrow, you'll be like "wtf was I talking about?" while reaching for the cheetos and thinking of something fun to get into. ;p

tamra,

my whole childhood was a bloody nightmare.. Everything from A-Z. The scars on the inside take alot longer to heal than the ones that have been left on my body..So I completley understand about wanted to get away..I also got thrown away alot. my mom's respose..Didn't happen that way. Your making too big a deal out of it. Its your fault. I will not go to her funeral..Ain't givin no body the chance to stick me with the bill.

I did learn from it all. My sis didn't have to endure half of what I did, But I was glad to save her from anymore that could possibly happen..She's due to graduate in June. AB student terrific attendence. I have created an enormous family thats colorful and loving and very chaotic, Its stressful and terrific. But carries a deep seeded fear that I could possibly end up like either one of my parents which both were terrible. I have my four kids and my sis..Ergo..Momof5

yet I still have great hope for the future, but I wish I didn't have to explain to my kids why they only have one set of grandparents. I don't say thats she's dead, Don't want to lie to them. My father died 4 years ago. which was a load of my mind.

reading and animals were my salvation. I kept everything as a pet except spiders....would do it now too If I weren't so broke. still read though.. Harry Potter is fascinating to me. Hate romance novels.. Drama and horror for me.. well I do like to play video games too..Horror of course..

Weed just make me sleepy..its like wastin money.Taquila makes me smokin..Liquid personality...Taquila helped me get freaky with the stripper..Hubby is thankful for taquila..Gets me out of Mom mode..Washes away the coffee stained homework doing woman and brings out the Temptress in me.


(((hugs))) girl...

Momof5,

but the main thing is taking care of yourself and your well-being. and everything will fall into place.

and your mom's response is exactly what I was talking about. you can't change her, only your reaction to her. as in don't let your reaction to her make you upset, become destructive, despondent, etc. she has to answer for her actions, not you. if she comes around, great, but don't mold your life around waiting for it, or dwelling on it too much.

learn from it. sometimes the worst people in your life become the best teachers in the world, yanno. because you become wiser, stronger and people like them can't enter your life anymore, only quality people.

deepseas,

wow, I applaud you for overcoming that. everytime I hear someone say "well my parents beat me, neglected me, I was on drugs, excuse, excuse, excuse" I always think but what did you do? where's your responsibility at.

both of you are living examples of you control who you are and want to be. and dayum, we didn't even need a big headed Dr. Phil in here to figure that one out

Momof587,

It is sad that the vessel that brought you into this world isn't all that you may want her to be. But what matters is the only thing that you can control. That would be you. Without you, where would your sister be? It's fucked up, sure... But that's the way it is...

So when is the next baby due?

deepseas and Tamra,

Thanks for sharing your stories with me. I can't begin to explain how greatful I am to know someone that has also had a bad childhood and come through it. I have never met anyone before that has and in my tiny world felt very isolated with my emotions. I see two great thoughtful caring women that still carry love for others in their heart and it gives me hope that I won't become a drone of my bitter mother. I am currently in therapy just for the sake of getting it all out so I don't harbor anything. And thanks for the compliments too.. You ladies are so sweet. I am glad that I found this place, Not only have i had the chance to pay ommage (sp?) to the person who made me smile during my childhood.. I stumbled across some good people too. Love you guys...

JTF,

I got my pipes fixed, but still like to get them cleaned

Momof5,

Sounds like you already got it figured out though...not wanting to be just like dear old mom and getting it out so you don't harbor anything but don't wait until she's dead to let it all go, it turns out it's just another day and you find out you didn't need to carry any of it that far anyway. But after you find out she is dead never miss a chance to piss on her grave whenever you get a chance.

Tamra,mom,deepseas,johnnypoo
I have no idea what it must be like to live through those kinds of hell. I make a lot of fun about being baby dropped but my natural mom knew she couldn't feed another kid so she gave me up and I was adopted by a great family, I was mamas only son and she spoiled me rotten, my paternal grandmother took over where she left off and I couldn't have planned a better childhood thank you God. Now dear old dad supplied a roof and food and all kinds of love while it was profitable so I respect him for that. He was moms husband and grandmas son so I have to love him, but I aint got to like him and I'm very happy I didn't turn out to be like him and I never miss a chance to stand up in broad daylight and piss on that lying two faced racist scum bag hypocrite glutonous jerk everytime I pass through town. Thank you I feel better now too.

hellifiknow,

and only because it's you....while you're pissing on her grave, a giant bear comes out of the woods, joins in, takes one look at you and then tries to hump you and then follows you around like a keychain because it's in lubbbbb


Momof5,

oh man, all this touchy feely stuff. I thought we banned that around here. I don't like it, it makes me feel all funny inside. ok, going watch Major Payne so I can understand these things

but you're very welcome. as soon as I read you feeling sad over something wrong your mother did... it was "oh hell nawwww" time. you deserve better