What's the best way of planting a kiss on a girl?

Post by **walrusjk** » Tue Aug 08, 2006 12:38 pm

How about this...You come into the room. Confident smile on your face and get her to stop what she's doing and face you. You're relaxed and she's tense with all the multi-tasking she's doing. You take one hand and grab her elbow, the other goes gently behind her neck. When you sense she's calmed down a bit, gaze into her eyes and softly kiss her and after the kiss whisper in her ear.."I sure love you honey." and give her a not too hard hug and ask if you can help. Hope she says "no" and go back watching the game with a Barney Fife sniff on your face.......

Post by **Murphdogg** » Wed Aug 09, 2006 12:01 pm

walrusjk, are you wearing a gold medallion while all of this is going on?

Post by **walrusjk** » Wed Aug 09, 2006 8:22 pm

Murphdogg,
Yes...Attached around my balls....

Post by **walrusjk** » Sun Aug 13, 2006 12:48 am

walrusjk,
Sorry. I couldn't have my last post be #13 so.... The best way is to head out the door of your house with the smooch face on. Lipps stuck out as far as possible and walking at a good clip. It's neccessary to have your neck cranked way out during this brisk walk while your head is swilveling side to side looking for a gal. Eyes snapped open too. There she is...a gal walking her dog who sees you coming and deliberately crosses the streeet to avoid you. You stumble across the street to intercept her , lipps out as an alarmed look crosses her face and blow a kiss her way(meant for her or her dog) right before she actually screams. Figure mission is accomplished and run as fast as you can back home. Ok this is message 14 an the unlucky one is out of the way....

Post by **hellifiknow** » Mon Aug 14, 2006 6:26 am

walrusjk,
pull her feet out of your boots, look deeply into her eyes and say "I love ewe" and give her a big wet sloppy kiss, then put her feet back in your boots and get back to business.

Post by **walrusjk** » Tue Aug 15, 2006 5:59 pm

hellifiknow,
"Ewe?" Is that a barnyard animal joke? Made me think of Eddie Murphy in some skit going..."I lub ewe!" Help me out . Where's that from?....

Post by **hellifiknow** » Wed Aug 16, 2006 3:05 am

walrusjk,
joke? its from a friend in wales...don't know if he's a eddie murphy fan or not but when i call him a sheep fucker he always responds "there aint nothing like the real thing baby",??? Maybe he started with lamb skins condoms and then decided to go straight to the source.

sorry if its a e. murphy ripoff, I first posted a joke which went something like..."the worse thing about having sex with a cow is when you have to stop fucking and get down off the stump everytime you want to kiss her"...not sure who said it first but it made me think of my friend so I changed it.

Post by **tis2flyyy** » Thu Aug 17, 2006 3:16 pm

hellifiknow,
I already told my friend here who started this thread that the best way to do it is in the very best plaec - on da coochie!

Like Ludacrious says "I like that!"

Post by **hellifiknow** » Thu Aug 17, 2006 4:44 pm

tis2flyyy,
at the influential age of 16? I heard Steven Tyler say..."Ya aint seen nothin till your down on a muffin"...and there aint very much else that anyone said back then that I listened to but my wifes very happy that was one of them. ;p

Post by **walrusjk** » Tue Aug 22, 2006 7:36 pm

hellifiknow,

Ok let's face it. If you're not boozed up at a bar and you're interested in her invite her out for a hike. Here in Phoenix ther's tons of places where you can hike up a hill and get a good work out. Afterward drive her to a spa where she gets a massage and makeover. Laugh it off as a treat. When you pull up after back home you have a gourmet meal that you prepared waiting to be fixed (half hour tops). You light the candles look into her eyes after you've eatin and go...."I'm so glad you're now clean enough for me to kiss" Tilt your head and pucker with your eyes closed and over the next few days wonder why she won't return you'r call. Can't help it. I'm a romantic...