Dig this!

[JTF]

So I'm feeling like a loser, trying out a one week free thing on an internet dating site.

I write to a 32 year old woman who looks a lot like my ex and says she's a Christian, into God, blah blah blah.

She responds in a very poorly written short letter that she is glad to hear from me and she is looking for a good love. She gives me her actual email and asks if I want more pics of her.

I reply that I would, and commence to walking around singing
[/i]Sanctified Lady[/i].

She sends me some professionally photographed pics that look like they belong in one of these near-porn mens magazines you see! I guess she forgot to be a church girl for a moment... Her letter explains that she is from NYC, but in Ghana because her father died. She graduated medical school and is living with her mother. She tells me she's 30. She tells me that she is very serious about her studies. She goes on and on about wanting a man that will love her. Oh yeah, and I'm the first man she met on there!

I translated it: (I speak fluent bullshit!)

I need a greencard.

[Momof5]

JTF,

I feel for ya hun, I really do..and I hope that Its the beep beep beep of your ass backing up away from that chick that I hear..

Little funny story.. Searching through the personals of my old town to see how sad the people are that I used to know.. Not knowing if I would really find anyone of the ass holes I knew... but I saw this ad for a girl that absolutely hated me.. she had on there that she didn't drink and smoke and that she was a christian. had attended some college and what not.. truth is...she was a druggie, smoker, whore that had a couple of babies that had been takin away by social services and just had recently had a baby few weeks prior to posting the ad... moral of the story.. watch yo ass..

Michelle

[tamra]

JTF,

awww that's too bad. people like that are the reason people don't try internet dating. but like the singles bar days, you figure there has to be someone out there that feels the say way as you. and wouldn't it be funny if it's someone in the same area as yourself

I admire you for trying it and I would say don't give up, and ask the questions you need.

would scare the hell out of me. I tried it about 10+ years ago to meet new people and my work schedule was crazy. but this was before the pedophiles/rapists, pimps, pushahs and freaks got the online itch. they were "normal" people who were who they said they were. met some pretty cool folks I'm still friends with.

w/out any internet dating involved, more than half the people who approach me now are not who they say they are. but scariest pickup attempt was from someone who believed he was a vampire. he just saw my name in the yahoo list of users and decided to introduce himself. had a photo of himself in all black of course, w/long black hair and black lipstick w/a white snake wrapped around him. the "close window" feature became a muthafukkin necessity!!!

[bingolong]

tamra,
Thought he was a vampire huh....well in the words of our immortal sites namesake you should have told him:

".....want to suck what?....boy is you some kind of freak....an ugly freak!!!!"

had to do it sorry....


__________________________________
JTF,
Yeah and that probably wasn't her in the pic either.....

[tamra]

bingolong,

oh I know huh? "you wanna suck some blood?" say whatttt?

isn't that the one where he was talking about "what's wrong w/your natural?" when talking about Dracula?

ok time to break out a few CD's until I get ahold of my LP's (hidden at an undisclosed location because I know how yall niggas are w/that lemme borrow that! )

[tis2flyyy]

JTF,

Man oh man.....that chck is CRA-RAZY!

Leave that one A-LONE!

But there is hope....I met this guy on the internet....spoke to him on the phone one and I am like, totally in love with him. Hell to the NAW!!!! I am just kidiing!!!!!!

The only man that I love is Benjimin Franklin.
& that is real.

Not trying to tell you what to do, but uh....leave that internet dating shit, A-LONE.

[bingolong]

tamra,
Yep that's it!!!

[hellifiknow]

JTF,

Fuck her then call La Migra.

[JTF]

hellifiknow,

This morning at 10am my phone starts ringing off the hook. Being the lazy bastard that I am, I let the machine get it and the call hangs up. Every 15 minutes or so there is another call. I finally get up at 1p and answer it. It is a call from her, but not exactly...

The call was placed using some sort of service where "she" was using a computer to type and the operator would tell me what was said, then type my reponse. "She" was calling for two reasons, to verify that "she" was real (I find this side-splittingly hilarious!) and for the reason that is clearly outlined in the email I received this morning, but had not opened until now.

hello how are u my dear thanks for the email i will call u soon my dear i am very glad that u came in my life i love ur pics very well my dear my dear my mum is very ill she is in the hopsital now and i will love u tohelp me my dear i need 200$ for some drugs for her paracetamol and apettite syrub my dear try and send me the money to western union my dear please try and help me this is my information


Shock of all shocks... I never would have guessed that "she" would need me to send money! I had the operator type that I wondered how long it would take to ask for money and while I am a fool I am not a damn fool. I wished her well on moving on to the next patsy and ended the call after listening to the response about "How much can you send? My mother is in the hospital."

[bingolong]

JTF,