Is anyone into writting something funny?

Post by **walrusjk** » Tue Jul 25, 2006 9:47 pm

I know a few are. Why not try and do something funny here? Perfect place for it. Don't mean to put anyone down but come on and write some funny bits down and post them! I know most who visit here are capable. Come on and try to make them more than one line nothings. Build them. Everything has got a start, middle and an end. Like, for instance, my penis..

Post by **walrusjk** » Tue Jul 25, 2006 10:22 pm

Ok I'll give you a topic. First awkward sexual experiences.....

Post by **walrusjk** » Wed Jul 26, 2006 4:28 am

Ok I was a little kid. I didn't know anything. Had no idea sex even existed. It was the mid-sixties and I was in Bartlesville Oklahoma. I lived in a house with my folks and six brothers and there was a big tree on the property. Someone in the family had tied a big thick rope around one of the branches which aloud about 30 feet of climbing. I found out if I climbed that rope and really moved my legs I got a weird feeling right in my private parts. I figured nobody knew but looking back they had to be looking out the window and shaking their heads saying something like...."Soon enough we'll have more to worry about than some rope." Meanwhile I'm scurrying up the rope, legs flailing away and loving my life...

Post by **mojones** » Sun Jul 30, 2006 8:57 am

walrusjk,

First time I had sex, I was so scared. I had never used a handgun before.....

Post by **walrusjk** » Sun Jul 30, 2006 5:51 pm

mojones,
That was a good one. Hand? Gun? There's some possibilities there pal. (Wait, got a mental image) yuck....

Post by **walrusjk** » Fri Aug 04, 2006 1:21 am

deepseas,
I used to sneak into the place where my parents kept the encylopedias when no one was around and look up the human body. Hot drawings of naked women with arrows pointing out the various parts. I'd be sitting the with a horny looking grin on my face until my Mom would walk in and go.."What are you studying son?" I'd snap the book shut and frantically say..."Just looking through the book Mom!" She'd just smile. I was the last of seven boys and she knew. National Geographic's coverage of native tribes of Africa was a big turn on but the very hottest was the mail order's Catalogue's bra section. I'd be looking at that one, looking around guiltily and thinking..."Boy that makes my weenis hurt". Let's face it..I was a sex machine from day one..

Post by **Mister Gee** » Fri Aug 04, 2006 2:29 am

walrusjk,

Yeah I gotta confess that I too was a sex machine from the get-go!

I remember being a child & having these strange feelings that were so real you know? like as sure as I was born, it took me a little while to understand them properly and to get it together in my mind but as soon as i did? I was right on! The thing about sex is that it is a feeling that we all have got to get. It's like it gives us a fever and we break out into a cold sweat. As for me? the way I like it....well, i guess that you can just say that "that's the way it is" as long as I get mine, I'm not really too concerned about his!

Bobby! Should I take 'em to the bridge?
(Go Ahead!)
Take 'em on to the bridge!
(Take em to the bridge!)
Should I take 'em to the bridge?
(Yeah!)
Take 'em to the bridge?
(Go Ahead!)
Hit me now!

And then, shake your money maker,
Shake your money maker,
Shake your money maker,
Shake your money maker,
Shake your money maker,
Shake your money maker,
Shake your money maker

Peace gee

Post by **Mister Gee** » Fri Aug 04, 2006 3:28 am

deepseas,

errrr......You DO realise that I was paraphrasing the lyrics to James Brown's song "Sex Machine"? i was tryin' to write something funny... but I guess that JB always was a philosopher!

Peace gee

Post by **hellifiknow** » Fri Aug 04, 2006 7:13 am

deepseas,
the only place that had natl. geographics was the doctors office so you had to be hurt really bad or poke a hole in a cousin or something to see those magazines, catalogues were about as good as it got for us except that one year there was a picture of a guy in boxers that supposedly had his dick hanging out below his shorts so that was a bad year to get caught looking for anything in the sears catalogue, that issue never left grandmas room anyway.

Post by **walrusjk** » Sat Aug 05, 2006 12:23 am

I remember watching tv with my family in the living room. We only had one tv. I remember sitting there with my family watching the movie "Some Like it hot" in my pajamas. It's really funny with Jack Lemon, Tony Curtis and Marylin Monroe. I've got my Mom,Dad and brothers all within five feet of me. I'm laughing and having a good time until Tony Curtis starts getting seduced by Marylin on the boat. That outfit Marylin wears was as close to being naked as any women could be. The set up started happening and I started looking around and getting nerveous. My pillow immediately went into my lap like I was applying pressure to a deep cut with my forehead starting to bead up and a frantic, embarrassed look on my face. I had a nice enough family to not snatch that pillow away half way through that scene, point and laugh because it was rock hard. They we're probably too busy with their own boners while my Mom was thinking..."I raised them right." but still shaking her head a bit and thinking "Poor guys". To her credit she never said at that point..."Hey boys help me with dishes."