YO MOMMA

[paulmonroe]

YO MOMMA SO STUPID SHE TOOK THE PEPSI TASTE CHALLENGE AND SHE CHOSE JIFF.

YOUR MOMMA SO STUPID SHE HAS TO GO TO THE BASEMENT FOR A DEEPTHOUGHT.

YO MOMMA SO NARROWMINDED SHE CAN LOOK THROUGH A KEYHOLE WITH BOTH EYES.

YOUR MOMMA SO POOR I AKSED HER WHATS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BOLONGA AND HAM..SHE SAID THERE ISNT ONE CAUSE YOU CAN GET EM BOTH WITH FOODSTAMPS.

MOTHER JOKES ARE SO OLD...SO ARE INSULTS ABOUT ONE'S MOTHER. LIKE THE BIGGEST
INSULT ONE CAN FACE IS AN INSULT ABOUT ONE'S MOTHER. FUCK THAT. NEXT TIME SOMEONE SAYS
SOMETHING LIKE "YEAH, WELL I FUCKED YOUR MOM LAST NIGHT" YOU LOOK THAT DUMB ASS
STRAIGHT IN THE EYE AND SAY, "WELL, THAT'S TOO BAD, WHILE YOU WERE WASTING YOUR TIME
TRYING TO GET LAID BY OLD LADIES, I CARVED OUT YOUR MOTHERS EYE SOCKETS WITH A RAZOR
BLADE AND THEN SOLD HER BLIND ASS AS A BONDAGE SLAVE TO THE JAPANESE MAFIA AND THEY'VE
BEEN SHOVING FLESH EATING CARRION ANTS INTO HER ASS AND VIDEOTAPED IT FOR INTERNET
BROADCASTING. HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT?
NOW THAT IS AN INSULT. IF THAT DOESN'T DO IT, TAKE IT UP A NOTCH. TELL THEM YOU
CARVED YOUR NAME ON THE INSIDE OF THEIR UTERUS WITH A BUTTER KNIFE WHILE SHE WAS HAVING
ORAL SEX WITH THE FAMILY DOG. GUARANTEED THEY'LL THROW A PUNCH AT YOU.

[Ben Robinson]

paulmonroe,
People I hang out with don't make momma jokes, they make dead baby jokes. Like....

What's pink, bubbly and taps on glass?

A: A baby in a microwave.

How do you make a baby cry twice?

A: When you're done, wipe the blood off your cock onto his favourite teddy bear.

Speaking of pedophilia, what did the mother say to the pedophile at the beach?

A: Hey you! Get out of my sun!

So a pedophile walks into a deep dark forest with a 6 year old kid. The kid says, "gee mister, I'm scared." The pedophile replies, "you think you're scared? I gotta walk out of here alone..."

HEYOOOO! Booya!

Here's a classic from one of the pioneers of standup whose name escapes me at the moment, "Did you hear the one about the kid who asked his dad, "what's a degenerate?" and the father replies, "shut up and keep sucking,""

I'm here all night, tip your waiters

[paulmonroe]

Ben Robinson,
Oh hell i laughed my white ass off..Man that was over the top.. i was in tears that was funny....

[Ben Robinson]

paulmonroe,
What's the difference between a HOnda civic and a pile of dead babies?

A: I don't have a pile of dead babies in my garage.

PS - I'm gonna stop posting for awhile, I this humour is a little riske. I don't want to get my ass banned from this fine messege board.

[Gareth]

Ben Robinson,

i think that last one would be funnier if you said "i dont have a honda civic in my garage"


hahahah

gareth

[Funn DementaLL]

Ha! good thread ... dam, no jokes to share!

[JTF]

Funn DementaLL,

Your mama knows some good jokes!

Welcome!

[jazzybee]

paulmonroe,


Yo mama is like a light switch, even a 2 year old can turn her on.

Yo mama is like Sprint, 10 cents a minute anywhere in the country.

Yo mama's hair is so nappy, she has to take tylenol just to comb it.

Yo mama's breath stinks so bad, we don't know whether she needs gum or toilet paper.

You know I am just messin with ya right, nothing personal, just having a little fun. Don't get mad..lol

have a good day.

[ShadyGrady]

paulmonroe,

Yo mama is so dark, that when I looked at her, I thought that I was asleep!

Yo mama is so dark, that when she steps outside during the day, the phone rates go down!

(I stole these two from Patrice O'Neal and George Wallace in an exchange that they had on "Tough Crowd")

[Jermane S]

ShadyGrady,

Yo momma fell out of an Ugly Tree, and must have hit every branch on the way down!