'New' Bad Limericks

[BeenThere]

A friend of mine was a machinist-
who bragged that his crank was the cleanest
Once he tried to show off-
Then unzipped his draws near a buzz saw-
And now he has no penis
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A man once sat at the docks-
Everyday from 6 till 9 o'clock
He tried to show us his pole
He then said it was far too cold
But really, a fish had bitten it off
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There once was a man named Scott
Who had been an astronaut
He was a hit with the ladies
And drove a mercedes
until they found out his ship had a premature blast-off


Hope you liked 'em

[BeenThere]

There once was a girl who yelled
That rang from the heavens to hell
She always gossiped and spoke
People would joke "She talks so much, why doesnt she choke"
So God over heard, then he concurred
And she died since her tongue swelled

[airice]

This is Da's favorite, being a Brit an' all. Auth unknown

There once was a lady from Leeds
that ate a packet of seeds.
And all sorts of grass
grew out of her ass
and she couldn't sit down for the weeds!!!