State of the Union 02-02-2005

[JTF]

astonamous,

The George W Bush 2005 State of the Union drinking game
White guy in suit looks to extend winning streak

What you will need:


Four taxpayers: including 1 white guy wearing a suit, 2 people wearing normal clothes (one wearing a blue shirt, the other in a red shirt) and 1 dressed as an old person. (Note: shawls are nice)


A shot glass per person. Everybody brings one, group them on table. White guy in suit gets first choice, red shirt picks second and blue shirt gets third choice.


Bowl each of guacamole and chips.


5 bucks. Everybody antes.


Much beer. Senior citizen gets cheapest crap you can find, like Old Milwaukee Lite: white guy in suit drinks import of choice and everyone else chips in to buy it; the other two fight it out over Bud and Miller Lite. Rules of the game:

1. Whenever President Bush uses the words: "tax relief," "mandate" or "bipartisan," drink a shot of beer.

2. Whenever George W mispronounces "Allawi," "nuclear" or "terrorism," last person to knock on wood drinks two shots of beer.

3. If he mispronounces "shiite": first person to stop laughing exempt from drinking three shots.

4. If the President says the word "Texas," last person to give the longhorn sign and yell "Yeehah!" has to drink two shots of beer.

5. Whenever George W talks about saving social security, senior citizen takes a shot of beer. First time the President uses the word "personalization," take two shots. Add another shot for each additional "personalization."

6. If Vice President Dick Cheney is caught napping on camera, white guy in suit has to drink a whole beer.

7. Whenever George W Bush talks about the evils of abortion or the sanctity of marriage, last person to fall to their knees drinks two shots of beer.

8. Whenever George W mentions the liberty or freedom of the Iraqi people, stand up, salute with your right hand and drink a shot of beer with your left hand. If he's talking about the liberty or freedom of the American people, stand up, salute with your left hand and drink a shot of beer with your right hand. First person to mess up has to drink two more shots. White guy in suit is exempt from mistakes.

9. The first time George Bush uses the phrases "activist judges," and "trial lawyers," first person to stand up and yell, "I'm out of order? You're out of order," is exempt from having to drink three shots of beer.

10. If only half of televised audience gives George W a standing ovation, red shirt and white guy in suit have to drink shots of beer for duration of applause. If either Teddy Kennedy, Hillary Clinton or John Kerry are shown not standing, blue shirt and senior citizen take over till Bush resumes speaking. Double time if Senators are not applauding.

11. If George W Bush mentions "Halliburton," "exit strategy" or his inability to find Weapons of Mass Destruction or Osama bin Laden, white guy in suit has to drink a shot of everybody else's beer out of their shot glass, and they get to wipe their glass clean on his jacket.

12. Whenever George W mentions the phrase "prescription drug plan," take a shot of beer. The first time this happens, last person to finish has to drink two more shots of beer and take out the trash during the Democratic Response. White guy in suit and red shirt need not recycle.

Extras:

1. Everybody gets to kick the crap out of white guy in suit for 15 seconds, only if Karl Rove's transmission link breaks and Bush begins to mumble excerpts from Hugo Weaving's soliloquy on how humans smell in the first "Matrix."

2. White guy in suit gets to kick the old person if George W uses a heartfelt story of a senior citizen's grace under pressure to illustrate a point. Twice if cat food is mentioned. The elder gets 15 seconds to kick white guy in suit only if Bush reveals the anecdotal senior is in the audience and sitting next to an astronaut. 30 seconds if the adjacent seat holds a member of the Bush family. 1 full minute if it's Jenna.

3. Remaining guacamole goes home with senior citizen who also gets to keep Tupperware container.

4. White guy in suit wins pot.

[Vee]

astonamous,
Well, I've got some red wine goin' on here and I have to say, Bush is full of shit!!!Ain't nothin honest coming out of his face!!!!

I'll talk to you when this "SPEECH" is over.

[GravyBoat]

DAMN IT!!
Pack your bags everyone, because we're all going STRAIGHT TO HELL!! We had a shot, but we're screwed. THIS IS IT.

Patton Oswalt was right. GWB is bringing the apocalypse.

I hear Mormons in hell get it in the ass. Is that true? Because that's where everyone in America is going. Straight to hell.

I can't believe it. I just can't believe it.
I hope it's comfortable for you, mofo. You're making it plenty safe for your children and grandchildren. Too bad that won't apply to anyone but your greedy SOBs in the DAMN CORPORATE AMERICAN GOSH DARN DARN DIDDLY FRAPPER JACK!

[JTF]

GravyBoat,

I'm not even listening to this. I'm at work and have better things to do than hear the outright LIES of a President that would never admit to the state he has placed this union in...

[JTF]

GravyBoat,

I did just hear ont thing interesting out in the hall:[/i] "Iraquis are determined to fight for their freedom..."
[/i]
The problem I see with this statement isn't what he said, since it seems to be very true. The problem is that the people the Iraquis want to fight seem to be American...

[bingolong]

Oh that was on tonight ...I just slept thru it.......

[GravyBoat]

astonamous,
I'm going to gather up the Boy Scouts of America. I'll force them to do a service project: build a bomb shelter. The amount of Eagle Scouts in this nation will increase 4-fold...

I know almost nothing about legislation, but it doesn't take a law whiz to see the deep holes. The wealthy will never have to worry about their own problems ever again.

[Vee]

astonamous,

I just don't feel that the man had an honest word coming out of his mouth. "Untrustworthy is as Untrustworthy does"! He was just lying. He didn't write the speech and I don't think he knew what the fuck he was saying. The whole thing about the SS really blue me away. Ain't no body - and I mean nobody- gonna benefit from that shit except a silly white chile with money. Honest to goodness, I'm telling the truth. His daddy wrote that speech and The President (or Jr. rather) is just a puppet. He was saying some good stuff...Broken Promises of course...but he was just passing up time. The only niggas who really got anything to do with "Foreign Money" are the Bushes!!! Damn, I ain't even into Politics but I know that for sure. I also know that the Bushes are a team...lying to America together. Playing this lying game as one.

I think I'm gonna move to Europe or something soon. This is bullshit.

[Vee]

astonamous,

Wow....even if black folks are dying before white folks how is this bullshit of a SS plan better for blacks? That's the Bush man trying to play a nigga for a punk. You know, I think I will write the white house and just expressed that thought. Seriously. I would probably go on to say that black people have really been the only ones to make sense in this century. we have been mistreated as a whole -as a people- and we still want peace! We crave it, man. I'm just figuring out that the whole thing with Rodney king was ...Shit, nobody knew what else to do. Hell. no one would have paid any attention if it were a MLK "We Will Over Come" march.

I finally get it...Fuck a Bush....



I HATE BUSH....

[JTF]

astonamous,

I heard about that ink "solidarity" bullshit. It's hard to believe how out of touch the leaders of this nation really are. How is it that they can't see how insulting something like this is?

It's almost like a white kid who grows up in the suburbs, never seeing a black person except on tv, and would never go into an inner city where there are black persons talking about how he understands the plight of the black man.