The Breadeaters

[mikewormack]

Audio is attached

I hate going out to eat. I like the fact
the food is cooked for me and brought out to
me, but I remember how it was when I was a
kid to go into a restaurant. I have three
brothers and we all liked to eat. So going
out probably wasn't something my dad enjoyed
either. Well, I know he didn't like it,
because every time they brought the check
you could tell. He would lose his mind. As
soon as they handed him the check, he'd look
at it and yell, WHAT! Then he would start
giving me and my brothers the evil eye then
begin the interrogations. Who ordered the
applesauce? I tell you all the time, no
side dishes. Pop to drink? Who got the
pop? You had water before we ate, you
didn't even drink it all. I'll see if
they'll take it back. Maybe knock something
off of the bill. Why you get sour cream for
your potato? I told you to just get butter!
Then he got mad at my mom. Why didn't you
say something? I got up to use the bathroom
and you guys order every thing on the left
side of the menu, I can't even take a piss!
Now were going to have to get a third
mortgage on the house to pay for all this.
I'm about to ask if we can just work it off,
all your asses are working today. Next time
we go out, everybody gets the special, you
two younger ones can split one, and
everybody gets water. You know what forget
it, next time we'll just go to Howard
Johnson's. My family hated to go to Howard
Johnson's, not because the food was bad, it
was because all we ate was bread and sticky
buns. We would get there and my dad would
order water for everyone, then start asking
for a whole bunch of the complementary
rolls. We'd sit there for an hour eating
rolls and drinking water. Then we'd all be
full and my dad would tell the waiter, that
we changed our mind and we were leaving. He
didn't even tip the guy. We even got roll
doggie bags and a free cookie. We did that
for years until we got a letter from the
president of Howard Johnson's, he banned our
whole family and any or our associates for
life. They even put pictures of us up in
all of the lobby's, they called us the bread
eaters.